Debate Proves Candidates Will Argue About Seriously Anything

BOCA RATON, FL — At the third presidential debate at Lynn University, where the median student age is 75 years old, undecided voters finally had the opportunity to see just how far Governor Romney and President Obama will go to criticize each other. The two candidates were in top form as they displayed their ability to dispute literally anything.

Romney and Obama sparred on topics such as the war in Afghanistan, relations with China, and the proper pronunciation of ‘tomato’, with Governor Romney calling Obama’s support of the “tom-ah-to” version of the word “a disgrace to this country.”

Things came to a head when Romney referred to Obama as “that gentleman in the blue tie over there…” The President sharply rebuked him, countering, “The notion that anyone, let alone you Governor Romney, could call this tie blue…quite frankly it’s just offensive, and it shows how out of touch you are with the primary colors.”

The candidates did find one bit of common ground when both agreed that they had absolutely no intention of keeping the vast majority of their campaign promises. When asked about the topic by moderator Bob Schieffer, Romney responded, “I mean, look, I am trying to shamelessly pander to as many people as I possibly can, and as a result, I am going to say a lot of things that I simply don’t mean.”

Obama likewise stated, “After this election, I’m done. There is really no way for the American people to hold me accountable, so anyone who thinks I’m serious about these promises…well…is just fooling themselves.”

With the final debate over, the candidates are in the home stretch with just over two weeks remaining until voters head to the polls to just bite the bullet and pick one.

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