Snooki, Chef Boyardee, and Pope Benedict XVI to Star in The Real World: Rome
ROME — Italian and international fans alike are buzzing with anticipation for the premier of MTV Italy’s The Real World: Rome.
New housemates Snooki and Chef Boyardee were both eager to start their new adventure. Snooki described it, “Oh my GAWD, like, I am just super ready to get to the house and, like, go to the club, and just get totally wasted and smush some hot Italian gorllas, since baby Lorenzo is with my mom in Poughkeepsie and what Jionni don’t know won’t hurt him, hollaaaa.” This will be Snooki’s first trip to Italy since her completely uncontroversial and definitely arrest-free trip with The Jersey Shore.
Chef Boyardee echoed Polizzi’s enthusiasm, stating his desire to “meet some new friends and a-cook them some a-spicy ravioli.” However, he also expressed some concerns about the higher costs of cooking in Italy, since the EU has all those “a-stupido laws” about horsemeat.
Meanwhile, anonymous staffers have leaked details about some of the show’s inevitable drama. Pope Benedict XVI will reportedly “pull an Angelina” and leave the show midway through episode seven, yelling in Latin, “When you said I would be living in a house with six young people, I imagined something different.”
Rumored to replace Pope Benedict is Italian soccer star, Mario Balotelli, the mohawked A.C. Milan striker. If this is the case, viewers can expect Balotelli to enjoy many nights of drunken debauchery with club owner, media mogul, world champion tax defrauder, and fellow cast-member Silvio Berlusconi. The two-day season premiere on Sunday and Monday promises to be a real nail-biter, as Berlusconi finds out if he gets to reclaim his former job as Prime Minister and Italy’s hardest partying politician when Italians vote on whether to preserve corruption, underage sex, and fascism as national pastimes.
One thing is certain: if the cast lives up to their reputations, audiences everywhere can expect lots of “bunga-bunga” parties and many smush sessions; let’s just hope Berlusconi’s guests are old enough not to ask Chef Boyardee for alphabet soup.