Daylight Saving Time Fucks Up Dance Marathon

EVANSTON — A riot erupted during Block Ten of Northwestern’s 39th annual Dance Marathon after the sleep-deprived emcees announced that the final block would be extended by an hour due to Daylight Saving Time.

Daylight Saving Time, when clocks move forward an hour on the second Sunday of March, caused Dancer Relations to miscount the amount of time remaining in the thirty-hour charity event.

“At first I thought I was just disillusioned from the lack of sleep,” said first time dancer Martha Polk. “But when Dancer Relations said we still had an hour left, people just started going nuts and throwing trays of Andy’s at the stage.”

Medill Senior Katie Prentiss, a DM Spokesperson, explained the faux pas: “Everyone always sets their clocks ahead an hour before they go to bed before DST begins, even though DST doesn’t really start until 2 AM. So, we pushed the official DM clock ahead an hour at midnight before we forgot and therefore asked the dancers to dance another hour. We’re still not sure what time DM actually ended.”

Prentiss then added, “Wait, shouldn’t we have ended an hour early?”

The half-melted custard fight seemed to be the culmination of the additional hour, watching that many nerdy white people attempt to twerk, and all of the other mishaps from the previous day.

“First I had to dance in jhortz for three hours during Block Four,” said sophomore Josh Goldstein. “And then it was just like a prison tent with One Direction for all of Block Six.”

The 60—or maybe 61—Hour Club member also said that DJ Jay Sims, a 17th year senior, “played Thrift Shop like at least 100 times,” and by Block Eight there were at least two gangs in an Advil-fueled drug war. The extra hour was therefore the “blister on top of the callus.”

“I’m all about, you know, doing it for the kids and everything like that,” Goldstein said. “But wouldn’t be better if we had used the extra hour for Dillo Day?”

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