The Five Kinds of People You Meet in Mudd Library

With finals approaching, it is best to be prepared for all the students you will encounter when you return to the library for the first time since your last round of finals. The Flipside has therefore prepared a guide to dealing with the diverse students who frequent Mudd Library.

The Ninja: He scowls when you breathe too loudly. He is furious when you crinkle your granola bar wrapper. He will death stare you for typing too loudly. This is his library. He owns you. He is disgusted that you are wasting precious study time on Facebook. He is sure that you don’t deserve to share precious library air with him. He knows you are one of “those kids” who parties on Dillo Day instead of studying. How dare you not know that this is his study table?

The Socialite: She had a wild weekend. She loves that her life is cray and you’re going to hear about it no matter what. She and her sorority sisters could care less that you were at the table first. She does not understand that she is somehow whispering louder than if she was just talking normally. She pretends to be ashamed about last night’s escapades, but she loves it. She Pinterests. She Skypes. She Tumbles. She Instagrams. She cannot believe that Kim wore the same dress as her to the crush party. She has been at the library for four hours. Her backpack remains unopened.

The Naïve One: She is tired of walking from Bobb to Main Library to study. She has decided to check out where all of those engineers go to study. She is confused as to why the revolving door cannot be moved. She knows that although her laptop has 5% battery, she will be able to find an outlet somewhere. She sits in the basement, but does not understand why she is freezing. She does not yet know how the second floor can be 20 degrees hotter than the basement. She questions why everybody looks so sad, because she quite frankly enjoys studying poetry. Isn’t multivariable calculus really just a poem that uses equations and variables instead of words?

The Frat Star: He is only in the library because his fraternity is making all the brothers log library hours before finals. He hates that there are so many GDIs here. He assumes that the GDIs just come here on Saturday nights to hang out or something. He wonders if these people even know that his fraternity is the top house on campus. He leaves in frustration.

The Non-Conformist Who Is Not Actually at the Library: She refuses to be confined by walls, desks, or bookshelves. She knows society wants her to study in the library, but she never will. She sits on the Lakefill. She discusses economics with the ducks. She is not fazed by the 18-degree weather.

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