British Tour de France Winner Really Excited About Royal Baby

PARIS, FRANCE — Chris Froome, the recent champion of the 100th Tour de France, was reportedly ecstatic to receive news of the birth of His Highness the Prince of Cambridge on Monday.

Froome, who won the month-long, 2,100 mile bike race by the largest margin since 2005, hurriedly raced to the finish line in the last stage to see if Kate had delivered the baby yet. “I can’t believe the royal baby has arrived! What did it weigh, half a stone? Wow. What a magnificent day for our country,” said the second ever Tour de France winner from Great Britain.

While Froome and his British teammates from Team Sky, who also won as a team, were enduring blistering winds, torrential rain, and screaming fans trying to knock them off their bikes as they climbed mountains, it was nothing, they admit, compared to Kate Middleton’s journey through her pregnancy.

“Sure, we went through a lot this past month. But morning sickness? Contractions? No, thank you,” commented teammate Bradley Wiggins.

“I think I speak for the entire nation when I say what a summer for Great Britain!” said Cristina Tollen of London. “[Andy] Murray wins the Wimbledon and William and Kate have their baby I don’t know what else could have gone right for us.”

At press time, all of Great Britain was excitedly discussing baby names.

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