Diverse Fraternity Gets Second Black Guy

In a press conference earlier today, Ben Johnson, Diversity Chair for Northwestern’s revolutionary Beta Beta Beta fraternity, proudly announced the successful recruitment of their second black guy ever. Coming on the heels of Beta Beta Beta’s ground-breaking decision last year to get their first black guy, this diverse fraternity is once again shifting the paradigm of what it means to be inclusive.

“At a school like Northwestern, supporting diversity and fighting systemic injustice is critical to maintaining a healthy and inclusive community,” Johnson explained, “That’s why we went ahead and got ourselves a black guy last year. This year, we’re pushing the envelope even further.”

However, Johnson is the first to admit that getting a second black guy wasn’t easy. “I sat all the frat guys down and had to explain, ‘Hey, I know it sounds crazy but imagine what could happen if, maybe, we get a whole new second black guy?’ At first they had trouble understanding—it’s a hard concept to wrap your head around.”

For Johnson to come up with such an innovative idea, he needed a little help. Reportedly, the notion came to him after he confronted the frat’s original black guy who seemed a little down and uncomfortable. From the ensuing discussion, Johnson learned from the black guy that it might be nice if he was not the only black guy. Inspired, the brave diversity chair ran with the suggestion. As Johnson himself stated, “Crazy exciting ideas like this just don’t happen in fraternities less progressive than Beta Beta Beta. It truly is a groundbreaking thing.”

Reporters tried to get in touch with the new Beta Beta Beta black guy but he declined to comment, stating only, “My name is Will, jackass.”

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