“They Must Have Midterms,” Cries Club Leader Alone at Meeting

At 9 p.m. last night, chess club president Jonny Kaplan, MEAS ’18, found the room he’d reserved in Kresge completely empty, burst into tears and cried out “They must have midterms!”

Though the chess club meetings usually have low attendance, Kaplan adamantly believes his fellow chess-loving members could only be missing a meeting if they had important midterms. “This club is important to all of us,” he said. “Just because I’m the only one here does not mean I am the only one in it!”

Sources say Kaplan waited around for fifteen minutes, expecting or more likely just hoping that someone else would show up given his aggrieved expression. When he finally accepted that he would be the only one in attendance, he played himself in what passersby described as a “riveting” matchup.

Halfway through his game, Kaplan flipped the board and sobbed incoherently for the remainder of the meeting.

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