Air-Drying Freshman Maybe A Little Too Confident
By Matthew Krise
Perhaps displaying a bit too much bravado and swagger, Harry Stevens, WCAS ‘21, was reportedly seen walking near his room in Allison Hall fully nude following a shower. Stevens has since told reporters that he subscribes to a “freer” post-shower ritual.
“Towels are just so constricting, you know?” he told the Flipside while sitting naked in a lounge. “And this way, I don’t have to worry about washing them. I’m just being efficient.”
Harry’s roommate James Parker, MEAS ’21, elaborated on Stevens’ peculiar habit. “It’s not just after his showers. Any time he can, he strips down and lets it all hang out. He’s gone hours at a time just sitting at his computer, naked. I try to be out of the room as much as possible.”
Despite multiple complaints to his RA, nothing has succeeded in changing Harry’s ways. “Every time they come to reprimand me, they’re scared away by the sight of my naked body. I’m untouchable,” Stevens said as another water droplet evaporated off his body.
In an even more brazen show of unwarranted confidence, emerging reports allege that Stevens has begun to experiment with nudity in the classroom. He was last seen proudly walking out of Kresge Hall wearing nothing but socks.