“Lol, More Like Dildo Day, Am I Right” says Local Loser in Attempt to Pick up Chicks

Local sources have reported that area freshman Barry Danovar reportedly said “Lol, more like Dildo Day, am I right” at a local party in an attempt to pick up chicks last night. Bystanders were rendered into a catatonic state of shocked silence as soon as Danovar uttered the fateful words and the party immediately disbanded. Eyewitness Jerry Johnson described the scene as “ a total train wreck.”

“It killed the entire mood of the party,” Johnson said as he struggled not to vomit upon recalling the traumatizing incident. “The music suddenly stopped as the speakers short-circuited under the strain and everybody just froze. I mean, what was he thinking?”

When asked to explain the motive behind his word choice, Danovar defended himself by saying.“It was just a joke. I mean, come on! Dillo sounds so similar to Dildo, so why not make a funny joke about it, especially since it would help get me laid? Plus, I was pretty sure no one ever made a joke like that before.”

Annie Thompson, the girl Danovar was trying to pick up, disagreed. “Never before in my life have I heard something so stupid and so poorly thought out that I thought I was going to die. Like literally, I almost lost the will to live. My friends had to drag me to the ER when I collapsed after my internal organs refused to work under those trying conditions.”

Following the events of the party, Danovar has been blacklisted from every party on Dillo Day. When he heard about his banishment, Danovar seemed surprisingly upbeat, saying “They’ll forget about it by next year. Plus, I got this great joke about Mayfest next year that’s going to absolutely kill.” Recently, after Danovar reportedly told his new joke at his dorm room, the RA’s had to call 911. Unfortunately, there were no survivors.

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