“Given Duke’s ability to generate money from ears, combine two rings into one, and materialize rabbits from his hat, he is overqualified for the position.”
Author Archives: Alex Moisa
The city has been slow to act against the gang; Mayor Hagerty, when told of these demands, responded, “Huh?”
“I needed to find a way to make sure we won games,” Fitzgerald said, “and then it hit me, what would happen if we just got some points up on the board, and lo-and-behold, here we are today!”
“We think that by drinking Pilsner and Rauchbier, everyone will get to experience the exquisite taste of what fraternity life has to offer. It’s essentially an upgrade from piss to something actually delightful.”
“As a grown man living in America in 2017, I know that people just want the quickest possible solution to their mental health problems, and giving them drugs is easier than talking to them about their issues.”
I mean, to be honest, being treasurer kinda sucks, and he only got the job since he was the only one who ran for it. So what he does with the name is no concern to us.”
“I was trying to build up to asking her to see if she wants to see the new Spider-Man movie, but then she started talking about what she would do if webs could come out of her, uh, hands.”
The new Chicken Global Hub is expected to encompass the entirety of the block between Ridge and Garnett, tearing down numerous homes and causing a spike in property values for those remaining, bathed in the delicious scent of fried chicken.
Most members of Mayfest have agreed that if Dillo is only rained out, they can deal with more “Fuck Mayfest” messages. One member said they had gotten used to it and even kind of missed it.
The form process is expected to take two to three business days, after which the representatives on the third floor will hand off the supplies to the treasurers, that is if they can find your specific set of bottles and needles in the piles of paperwork laying around.