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Author Archives: Sarah Lowe
“This one’s for you grandma!” Blake yelled tearfully, emptying the contents of a dime-bag onto the polished teak and ripping a fat line off of his grandmother’s final resting place.
“I’m so glad I came to Northwestern—these are the kinds of opportunities only a top-tier university could offer,” she said, examining her new Cartier diamond watch.
Local Bobb residents who were given a special look at the fragrance also speak to its exquisite indescribability
An overly nonchalant caption, exclusively in lowercase letters and overwhelmingly blasé, follows each post.
He then proceeded to turn on the shower to wash off all the excess beer that had dribbled down his neck and chest.
This is reportedly the seventh time lecture has been derailed by this repeat offender with no sign of remorse.
“A few days before the election, our headquarters were broken into. I almost didn’t notice until I tripped on a heavily annotated copy of Dostoevsky’s The Idiot.”
Then it hit me. This map was no perimeter for moral degradation and clinical diseases: it was a guide to discovering the hidden truths of Dillo—and human flesh.
Her itinerary includes nine drinks, three frats, two random boys, and one trip to Lisa’s to end the night.