“It’s not usually like this. It just seems smaller because the cold forced us to cancel some events, I swear.”
Author Archives: Sarah Lowe
“So, like, okay. The idea is that by burning a girl at the stake we’re making her sort of like a phoenix, where she dies all weak and gross but rises from the ashes in the image of sorority excellence.”
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“This one’s for you grandma!” Blake yelled tearfully, emptying the contents of a dime-bag onto the polished teak and ripping a fat line off of his grandmother’s final resting place.
“I’m so glad I came to Northwestern—these are the kinds of opportunities only a top-tier university could offer,” she said, examining her new Cartier diamond watch.
Local Bobb residents who were given a special look at the fragrance also speak to its exquisite indescribability
An overly nonchalant caption, exclusively in lowercase letters and overwhelmingly blasé, follows each post.
He then proceeded to turn on the shower to wash off all the excess beer that had dribbled down his neck and chest.
This is reportedly the seventh time lecture has been derailed by this repeat offender with no sign of remorse.
“A few days before the election, our headquarters were broken into. I almost didn’t notice until I tripped on a heavily annotated copy of Dostoevsky’s The Idiot.”