Students interviewed overwhelmingly agreed that that using the hash tag “MeetMeAtNorris” allows them to maximize their illegal activity during ten minute passing periods.
Category Archives: Local
The whale was reportedly seen going up to students, taking pictures with them, then asking, “you got some booze I can bum off you,” in the deepest voice he could muster.
Local sources have reported that area freshman Barry Danovar reportedly said “Lol, more like Dildo Day, am I right” at a local party in an attempt to pick up chicks last night.
“The last time I was this stressed was when I got a terrible registration time for winter quarter of freshman year and found out the only open classes I could take were Orgo, EA, and EECS 211.”
Mayfest released a statement this week regarding the addition: “We know that not everyone wants to listen to random bands and rappers that they sort of vaguely know, so, we decided to bring in those podcasters that you’ve been meaning to listen to but just haven’t had the time lately.”
A tapestry depicting the crushing of a philosophy major’s dreams under the boot of market forces has already been put up in the faculty lounge on the third floor.
“Morty floods our inboxes every day with notifications about yet another tuition hike and impassioned rants about why cats are better than dogs. Whenever a student objects, he immediately blocks them so that they can’t respond to his emails. Then, he goes onto their course pages and secretly changes the dates of all their midterms.”
“The best part is probably when you zoom in so much that everything becomes blurry and you can’t even find the singer on stage anymore. What a thrill!”
Sources have been reporting for the last few days that Northwestern President Morton “Morty” Schapiro has recently decided to bust out his temporary tattoo collection in preparation for Dillo Day.
Per University policy, a travel advisory is in effect for large portions of the frat quad. Students are warned that accepting any free merchandise may result in violence. Last week, Trent Chadwick, WCAS ’21, was found stripped and bound outside of SPAC with a crude mountain range spray painted on his chest.