Where do all the uneaten chickpeas go? A Qatar-based cryptocurrency is only the beginning of the story…
Category Archives: Nation
“Given Duke’s ability to generate money from ears, combine two rings into one, and materialize rabbits from his hat, he is overqualified for the position.”
“The kids are still going to be fucking hogs. We all know it. But now those kids are going to be fucking corn-fed hogs. Maybe even hogs grown in cages and forced to take growth hormones. Believe me, this university is going to see a spike in hog-fucking-related injuries.”
(INSERT BITCOIN TO UNLOCK FULL ARTICLE)
“I can’t wait to personally feed every hardworking family’s Christmas tree into a wood chipper.”
these beats are, in fact, sick, but unfortunately never saw the light of day because “they would have blown the American public’s mind, figuratively, of course”.
“It’s not like we haven’t tried,” said Ainsley.
After grabbing an unmarked yogurt from the company refrigerator, he knew he had to speak up against the injustice.
An overly nonchalant caption, exclusively in lowercase letters and overwhelmingly blasé, follows each post.
At press time, the White House was frantically sandbagging the doors and windows as neat regiments of transgender Navy Seals politely waited outside to have a word with the commander in chief.