“No way I’m going over there,” Silva told reporters. “Old Man Jenkins is scary. He kills boys that sneak into his yard and cooks them into a stew.”
Category Archives: Sports
Emerging reports indicate that as part of Sister Jean’s contract, “Northwestern Sex Week” will be officially renamed “Northwestern Fornication-is-a-sin Week.”
In addition, sources in Schapiro’s office claim that the university president asked Fitzgerald to stop giving him wet willies, Indian burns, titty twisters, and swirlies.
Stoops brought himself within striking distance by forgoing a game-tying PAT in exchange for a failed two-point conversion, then broke the tie by deciding not to go for an onside kick.
Many observers credit the dweebs’ newfound success to their coach, Chris Collins, who, in a few short years, helped greatly improve their looks and confidence.
Tandel Jr. drives the first Smart Car to be rigged up with an 850 horsepower engine.
“This isn’t what we’ve come to expect from the team. I’m really not sure how to explain it”, said head coach Chris Collins, visibly perplexed by the team’s current record of 16-4.
Northwestern students have been very vocal about the horrific portrayal of Native Americans by the Cleveland franchise. Some of them are also die-hard Chicago sports fans.
His reported income includes wages from a summer job a few years ago, and that’s apparently it.
“I wasn’t allowed to take in my lucky ear of corn because I couldn’t fit it into a clear plastic bag.”