“I think I blacked out somewhere around my sixth Tequila Sunrise, and by the time I whited back in, I was sitting in a classroom inside this really gothic-looking building. All the students around me looked dead inside. I later found out I was in a Particle Physics class at UChicago.”
Tag Archives: Alcohol
“As soon as enough ethanol started flowing between the platelets and macrophages, I figured it was only a matter of time before the two of them started swapping molecules.”
Northwestern’s Alcohol ENU, long ignored by students, has recently come under fire for releasing a survey of PA drinking habits.
10:07 – red bull walking around? Giving out energy. Tastes like hand santitizer fucked an old eaten melon.
Not only were the drunken hoes acting like animals, but there were actual REAL, LIVE ANIMALS present at the event.
Remember to recycle your plastic handles because it’s #greencup
Inside the illicitly-occupied buildings, things were getting a bit crazy. Freshman boys from Bobb pretended to know how to smoke marijuana and only coughed a lot a little.
George Davis of the newly-created Office of Creative Disciplinary Action said the university was getting a lot of pushback from peer institutions but decided to proceed regardless, as “the little shits started drinking fancier booze than I do.”
What, are you all going to lord my mistakes over me just because I commit them on a weekly basis?