Tag Archives: Food

New Hostess CEO Plans to Avoid Labor Unions, Hires Keebler Elves

COLUMBUS, GA — Trans fat gourmands across America rejoiced this past week upon hearing that Apollo Global Management LLC, the firm that bought the royal icing of the Hostess empire, the Twinkie, had plans to reopen bakeries and return many of the only semi-genetically modified treats to stores by mid-July. The largest obstacle in resuming production, though, according to Apollo CEO C. Dean Metropolous (besides, of, course, ever looking at a Twinkie again now that he knows what’s in them)

A Review of Found: A Restaurant Fit for a Stefon

I just heard about this absolutely fabulous social house (it’s not the same as a restaurant, but I won’t expect you to know the difference) from Stefon called Found. Once he said that it had both fried chicken and caviar on the menu, I knew I would die if I didn’t go there. So, this past weekend, my girlfriends and I decided to head over, and, let me tell you, it was the absolute best culinary experience I’ve had since

Senate Confirms Bagel as Secretary of Defense

WASHINGTON — The Senate today confirmed a bagel as the nation’s next Secretary of Defense in a stunning show of bipartisanship. After it became clear that the confirmation of Chuck Hagel would be an insurmountable political obstacle, President Barack Obama nominated part of his breakfast instead. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nevada) stated, “While this bagel isn’t the ideal choice, it’s at least palatable to most members of the Senate. He’s bland, holding no controversial positions, and it is adaptable

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