“When Stephen Colbert walks into one of our dining halls, he needs the assurance that every single one of the $66,000 he pays to his son’s tuition is put to good use.”
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The location will scrap the popular live-cooking option in favor of an open fish tank, where diners can pick their meal using their bare hands and struggle for food-chain superiority over the gasping animal.
How can we claim to be a liberal university when such crimes of bigotry are happening under our very noses?
The RHA stressed that the beloved periods, often mistaken for polka dots, will still have a meaningful presence.
You use defense mechanisms like rationalization and the intellectualization that NU students are famous for to convince yourself that it doesn’t matter.
George Davis of the newly-created Office of Creative Disciplinary Action said the university was getting a lot of pushback from peer institutions but decided to proceed regardless, as “the little shits started drinking fancier booze than I do.”
Hobart is the 77-time winner of the award for “Most Poorly Named Women’s Residential College.” Really, everyone calls this place Ho-House. But it’s in the sorority quad, so you’re practically a sorority girl, right?
Asked if it was possible the machines were simply malfunctioning, she responded, “Absolutely not. This sort of thing has been happening for years. If it were a service issue, certainly it would have been fixed already, right?”
“We saw this as a no-brainer,” said Goldenberg. “There’s a big divide between North and South campus, and we thought that having everyone… get their packages at the same place would create some good old-fashioned campus unity.”
By Tommy Schapiro Foster-Walker Complex–East Side: ★ ★ ★ ★ Hi guys! My name is Tommy and I’m so excited to be your Special Middle School Dining Hall Reviewer. A special thanks to The Flipside for doing my homework for me and for the free lunch. I told my Uncle Morty that you guys definitely deserve more money. Anyways, I guess I should start talking about the restaraunt now? Wow, that’s a hard word to spell. Restorant? Restaurant? Got it.